James Comey

This guy is so lost he needs directions to Melissa Dettwiller’s clit. Too much time in the intelligence community is clearly not very good for one’s intelligence. What is that old saying, “power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely”? Years of walking with kings has clearly caused this froot loop to lose the common touch, if he ever had it, which I doubt. Yesterday he gave us this imperishable gem: “There is no such thing as absolute privacy in America. There is no place outside of the government’s reach”. Umm yeah we know faggot, we found out 48 hours ago that you & your traitorous allies have been spying on us relentlessly through our phones, our TVs, our laptops, our vacuum cleaners & our vibrators. This guy is some kind of totalitarian sicko, don’t you think? There is the government & there is the people. They are not the same. What is good for the government is not necessarily good for the people & vice versa. Nowhere is that more true than in America today. The deep state’s dreams of world domination clearly include domination over America & the American people. Moreover, the deep state isn’t even the government. In no meaningful way is it accountable to the people or constrained by us. It is a rogue power structure, at war with democracy itself (various elected branches), with freedom of expression (see CIA “Meme Warfare Center” a psy-op waged against the American people & intended to combat the Alt-Right), & even trivial levels of privacy, private control & liberty. These neo-Bolsheviks want total control. They are no different than Bolsheviks of old, nor is our Cultural Marxist government any different than any other totalitarian government of old, marked distinctively by mass-surveillance & run by bona fide psychopaths. Under every such system, there is some supposedly noble or utopian end being pursued (in America it’s a post-racial utopia that will never be) & under every such system the common people ostensibly believe it will be realized (keyword “ostensibly”, because fear of power is the real cause behind this illusion of both choice & consensus). The deep state is as much the enemy of the American people as any foreign government, maybe more so. That’s pretty clear. And well, this guy is the face of the deep state, & boy what an ugly face it is. If Darth Sidious had anal sex with Gregory Peck’s autistic brother, Schmegary Peck, James Comey is what would come leaking out of Schmegary Peck’s macerated rectum.

Verdict: Not white. To be white, first you need to possess a soul, & Comey doesn’t.

Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin wrestles bears. That’s pretty white. He’s from near the Arctic Circle as well. That’s pretty white too. You think he could be a Y haplo N (N1c1a) rather than an R1a? I wonder, I really do. He sort of has the look. If Baltic Germans are circa 30% Y haplo N then Saint Petersburgers (say that 5 times fast!) must be roughly 30% too, no? Vlad the Impaler 2.0 is a commie slayer, no matter what the deep state tells you. He is a man’s man. He is a champion of champions. Did you know that Vladimir is the Slavicized version of the Gothic (Germanic) name “Valamir”? Yeah, that’s pretty fucking white too. Is there anything that isn’t awesome about this guy? Doubt it. He even jails bankers, oligarchs & other unscrupulous social parasites. No wonder the neocons hate him.

Verdict: White.

Amy Schumer

Trying to ride the wave of feminist opposition to “rape culture”, Amy recently had herself filmed engaging in consensual sex with a Beluga whale in the shallow waters of the eastern Pacific. She claimed she just felt “at home” in the pod. We have to agree, she sure did blend in perfectly. She was purportedly paid 2 million shekels for her noble stance against “rape culture”. “Rape Culture”, a supposed essential element of Western society, is of course a concept with no basis whatsoever in any known reality. Or to put it in scientific terms: in every parallel universe within the multiverse comprising reality, of which there are an infinite number, there is no measurable trace of this fictive “rape culture”. It is a steaming pile of Marxist horse shit. Marxism & horse shit go together like Amy Schumer & whale blubber. And on a side note, I’ve always thought that the perennially unfunny Amy Schumer would be best utilized as a line of soap products, with all of the glycerol therein being derived from her large, gelatinous hull. Immediately after making her now famous whale video to combat “rape culture”, which I should add gave new meaning to the term “humpback”, she attended a rally against Islamophobia. How’s that for irony? The world’s preeminent kiddie rape manual (aka the Quran), being defended by stalwart opponents of “rape culture”, in an absurd display of hypocrisy explained only by the selective contempt of the political left, which targets only wrongs & ills that can be somehow connected to white people. Judging by her oblong, melon-shaped skull & lack of any discernible musculature, she may be related to (((Chuck Schumer))), neo-Bolshevik senator from the great state of Jew York.

Verdict: The problem with Amy Schumer is that her mother was northern European & she looks like god sculpted her from a giant glob of Domino’s pizza dough. Her mother may have converted, but the tribe is all the worse for it. Nobody really wants to claim her as their own. But given that Casper himself said he would never date Amy Schumer because, in his own words, “That bitch is fuckin’ pale. I mean she makes Christina Ricci look like Naomi Campbell.”, I’m afraid I have no choice but to declare Amy Schumer “white”. It’s a dark & dreary day in the Alt-Right.

Judd Apatow

What kind of fucking name is “Judd”? It sounds more like an onomatopoeic term. It’s apparently Hebrew. Shocker, I know. Judd Apatow is famous for… ugh…ugh…ugh… writing below average Hollywood comedies? Yeah, that’s it. His Hollywood coethnics consider him a genius & a pioneer. : ) No one else does. He recently tweeted his support for the violent Bolsheviks in Berkeley California who rioted to prevent Milo Yiannopoulos from speaking freely & single-handedly obliterating the blatantly false, egalitarian fictions of the Cultural Marxist left, which I should note are really not that hard to obliterate. Apatow also threatened that this was “just the beginning” of violent resistance to Trump’s reign. A Jew enthusiastically supporting Bolsheviks who oppose basic freedoms like free speech, peaceful assembly & the democratic process? Who woulda thunk it? I mean really, it’s almost impossible to conceive of. I’ll tell you, that Hitler guy was nuts equating Bolshevism with Judaism. I mean there’s just no connection whatsoever.

Verdict: Not white. In another life he’d be a guard in a Gulag. And if America continues down the road it’s on, he may yet get to be one in this life.

Steve Bannon

This is the vicious anti-semite who had the gall to suggest that the suffering of other groups at the hands of the mass-murdering Nazis was in some way similar or equivalent to the suffering of Jews & deserved to be mentioned in the same breath as Jewish suffering ^TM. Imagine hatred like that. Apparently he is also the mastermind behind Trump’s “Muslim ban” that isn’t actually a Muslim ban at all (but should be). He may also have been behind the attack on Pearl Harbor & the conviction of Alfred Dreyfus, but that can’t be confirmed. It’s just something I read on “real news” site CNN (Pravda 2.0). The depths of his evil require a U-boat to plumb. And that reference is intentional because Bannon is a Nazi, a bona fide, goose-stepping fucking Nazi. So is Trump. And Romney. And McCain. And George Soros. E’rybody a Nazi!!! Kidding. Bannon is not a Nazi. He’s really more like a modern day Rasputin. And judging by the anti-Trump media hysteria of late, the Bolsheviks would certainly kill Bannon & throw him in a ditch too if they could. In all honesty though, I genuinely love & admire this man. He’s like the Alt-Right’s godfather. He is a hammer, truly ruthless. The snowflakes on the left have no chance. It’s a hot day in July in America & will be for the next four years. Suck it up, faggots.

Verdict: Half German & half Irish? White. Really fucking white. And have no doubt, Bannon loves his people. Even if he calls himself a “civic nationalist” to placate the Marxist totalitarian left.

Milo Yiannopoulos

Milo The Fabulous has been triggering SJW snowflakes almost as long as he has been letting guys named Shitavius put their horse dicks in each one of his orifices. Half Jewish & Half Greek, he’s slept with half the Peloponnese & one quarter of Jerusalem. And he’s been to both places only once. This guy has had more bukkake than Adriana Chechik. Adriana Chechik, negro. Milo is more properly understood to be Alt-Light, but he’s a fine ally most of the time. However, recently he denounced white nationalism as “not the answer”. Well, he may be right, but diversity ain’t the fucking answer either, penis breath. Unless of course the question is: “what should you mandate everyone worship if you are attempting to destroy the Western World in under a century’s time?”

Verdict: White. But more likely to get AIDS than a South African hooker with a latex allergy.

Mark Zuckerberg

The Portuguese man o’ war has more of a spine than this fucking guy. Nobody knows if he is a liberal or a conservative, a man or a woman, a potato or a fucking ear of corn. Occasionally he’ll go out on a limb & say something supposedly “brave”, but only if that limb is an oligarchy approved limb that won’t threaten his gazillions of greenbacks. He’s also a big Black Cocks Matter supporter & when he’s touring Europe on his private jet I’m sure his wife is too. Every time a Muslim lunatic massacres a few dozen Westerners, he is always the first to reach out to the Muslim community to show that he understands their suffering. Yeah, that is the level of cuckoldry & cowardice we’re talking about. I wonder if he calls the shooter’s family to express his condolences. I know the vast majority of his genome is Jewish but we should really pay an expert to find out what percentage of the remaining genes are weasel. I’m just curious, ya know? I also hear he wants to run for office in California. Well, at least he’s the right species.

Verdict: Not white. Translucent.